《流星的前奏 - 第一部》

除了自己以外，还有为他人着想过吗？

这是。。《 阿丑的故事》 ，叫作 《流星的前奏》

阿丑天生就丑陋无比。可怜的母亲被强奸犯侵略后，在辅导人员的说服下把阿丑接生了下来。没料到，被强奸后，九个月长的地狱般煎熬生下来的孩子竟然是个丑八怪。这不是玩笑，母亲看到阿丑后瞬间过世了。

因为亲戚们都把他当扫把囟看待，因此阿丑从小就住在孤儿院。那儿的孩子们看到他都异口同声地喊叫“Monster 来喽！Monster 来喽！”， 甚至会在阿丑身上吐口水。

每一晚，孤儿院的管理员阿姨们都会到各孩子们的床边，体贴地为可爱的儿童们盖好被子，亲亲他们的额头。渴望爱情的阿丑看到阿姨走入共用睡房时，都会刻意把被子拉下，充满希望地等着阿姨的关怀与温暖。

。。。在冷得刺骨的晚上，。。等着等着，不知不觉就入睡了。

结果。。 阿丑每天早上都会发现满脸颊都是被晒干的眼泪，而被子始终都没被拉上。

你。。能体会阿丑的痛苦吗？。。

身为孩子。。阿丑在开始的时候，不惊常会在人们的残忍中流下泪水。当连哭泣时都没人理会， 阿丑心里如被千万火箭贯穿。

老早已被打败的心灵还不断地被公害，产生出来的就是万想不到，不堪设想的变态后果。变态？抱歉。。 我一点都没在夸张。。

在阿丑6岁那年。。只是个简单的上茅厕方便，有几位孤儿看到了，幼稚地大喊：“Monster在大便哦！臭死人了啦！很恶心嘞！”

正在大便的阿丑不知所措，无处可逃，可躲，在厕房里面对着非寻常的极度害怕与着急。

忽然，听见一道大人的声音：“喂！你们在吵什么啊？”

阿丑错乱的心在这救命恩人的到来感到无限安心。。

“阿姨！你闻！Monster的大便很恶心hor！”

阿丑在脑海里呐喊。。
“叫他们走叫他们走叫他们走叫他们走！！！！！！”

“臭死了啦！你们给我快点出去！你们不走我可要先走了！臭死人了！”

清脆的玻璃破声，阿丑心灵的忍耐程度，在极限中的极限里超载，暴力地把自己小小的头往装满自己尿屎的马桶里塞，一心想把“恶心”的自己在尿屎淹死。

什么Monster啊，恶心啊，臭，可能您会觉得并不是太过分的骂词，但您能够了解阿丑的痛吗？。。

此故事下次再续。。 。。。

wohoho

wohooho.. finally got my first month IP pay.. 450.. 说少不少 la.. won't complain.

at first thought that i wanted to save most of it.. but i bought a new guitar yesterday!

previous one spoilt le.. very sad. the guitar is older than me leh. and chao chao is Yamaha lor.. got some pros praise that my guit sound is super seasoned.. (20 over years of course seasoned la..!) ( ~ . ~ )

so almost 5 months never touch guitar le. which also means me and dear dear never play guit and sing sing together le. Therefore.. must say the money is extremely well spent. and damn happy la, me and dear dear in her grandparent's place then sing song and her siblings and cousin listen. nice nice, had a wonderful time.

and one of the best part, dear dear helped pay S$150 for the guitar! so its our guit la actually, not just mine.

seriously.. this kind of gf where to find. im freaking hell the luckiest guy in the world la.

somemore we buy the guitar le dear keep telling me

"sorry dear, i wanted to pay more but i need the money to pay for my business"

then have to keep telling her crazy.. she pay 150 is super a lot le la! so silly la this dear dear.. she shouldnt even be paying a single cent for me la!

im so blessed la.. love my dear dear loads..gotta work harder so i can re-pay my dear for the so much she is doing for me.. yup. must must..

i love u dear :]

要走的总是会走

it always hurts me when my girlfriend goes out with guys or butches(those..)

maybe im just a fucking SNAG.

maybe im just made of jelly on the inside.

or maybe im simply NORMAL.


I guess there's nothing too abnormal about being concerned that our partners might leave us.

it'll also hurt (maybe even more) that they might be fooling around outside while you are still sacrificing because you love him/her and still working hard to keep the relationship alive

but I'll from now on, always made it a point to not stop my partner from doing the things she wants.


she wanna meet up with some new found hooligan guy friends, GO

she wanna go to her ex's private apartment, GO.

she wanna whatever, GO.

just GO.


do I still love her, YES! Of course!

but whats the point of caging a bird who so wishes so much to fly away? How would you feel if only after ten years of relationship that you finally find out that you've only been an uptight loser who is en-caging your partner?

yup, you're most absolutely correct that chances are, if you let her go free, she wouldn't come back.

but hey man, take this from me, if she wouldn't come back, it ain't fair that you are giving up so much for her now anyway.

要走的总是会走
if its gonna go away anyway, better that it fucking leave u now then end up torturing you a hundredfold in the future isnt it.

you're gonna be a damn fool if you don’t believe this, but its your choice ultimately, u know

it's just so fucking simple and obvious and im saying it because I don’t want anyone to fucking get fucked up again because of people who are fucking not worthy of love.



take good care of yourselves friends.

adios.

Dear God, please give me friends

is there someone you really admire, but never let know before?
or care which you really wanted to show, but thought better (or not) of it?
an inclination to know someone better, but rather keep yourself strong and beheld (and alone)?
and prolong the feeling till it is gone?

well, it is not gone.
imagine the feeling is a golden substance, which can shower bliss upon your life if you act upon it.
by putting it off so much, it has simply became a yellowish stain on your life.

communication skills, wacky intelligence, dating strategies may be charming i know. but ultimately it's feelings that make us who we are.

take for example there's this prince charming who's all-so, well, charming and shit. you're so damn attracted to him.
Or a girl who says the sweetest things,

all u'll ever get from these are an empty bond and diabetes.

how about an average friend, whom has neither look fabulous nor speaks well nor is "hip" (fuck hip) nor is any of those lousy cliche qualities which every single guy or girl BLINDLY and WEAKLY fall for.
freaking hell these qualities make everyone zombies.

people would crash each others' heart and feeling because they have been made zombies by the qualities.
if ur one of these people i have a word for u.

WEAK.

i hate this world, damnit.
i feel that im alone.
i wish i'll find someone who understands me soon.

Please, God, give me friends.

a bad advice for a even worse world.

traditional love would mean that we become vulnerable, and tear down all our defenses in order to truly love someone.

i think im very close to saying "BULLSHIT" to that.


i beg to differ as personally, i feel that now is the era of every man for himself. now is the era is where if u are not out to kill for your own benefit, you'll end up dead urself.

therefore.. even if you do not wish to kill, always be on the defense.


therefore, i hereby wish to encourage all my dear friends to always protect yourselves.

don't be too hasty to give away too much of yourself to anyone!


sounds like bad advice from a mentally ill person, but hey i had to learn it the hard way and im still learning it even now!

its may be stupid advice, but it'll happen anyway!


of course ultimately there will be no more love if noone takes the initiative to be self sacrificing, but you can always love while being on your guard yeah?


let the target slowly earn your trust and love while you slowly earn his/her too.

a bad advice for a even worse world.


apologies for being so pessimistic

:]

haven't been blogging like since dunnoe when.

IPP has proven itself to out-do the torture the TEP is able to put on us students. bravo.

but neways.. we're all gonna graduate soon! yah, my gpa stinks but freaking three years have slipped us and we're all gonna become diploma holders!

can't imagine myself working in a shitty office like this in adulthood though.. yup, even if potentially earning around 2k a month.. it just doesnt seem that attractive overall.

all in a blink, i have been with my dear for almost 8 months! gosh. it all went by so quickly. and so quickly even though we see each other nearly every second!..

its just so much fun being with my dear.

the secrets that only the two of us share,

and all the ups and down we go through..


though i can't say for sure when and how will these end, but its a gamble im beginning to want to take. i guess love is always a gamble bah :] no pain no gain..

can girls be trusted? can guys be trusted? i guess the truth is humans all cant be trusted. im always stressing abt how dogs can be mush more humane then humans.

but its true! humans can never be trusted.

however.. love can be trusted, kinship can be trusted. just.. not humans.

i was trying to avoid it, but turned out i've started typing un-understandable stuff again.. boss come back le.. work work!

and all the best for IPP to u guys!

CSC.. too free

okay okay. WTF is happening.

WASNT IT SUPPOSED TO BE SWEET.

WTF IS HAPPENING.

lol. i'll try harder, promise.

i just dunnoe wtf is happening.

like wtf is happening.

ehhh?.. wtf is happening.

and i drew a strawberry cone.

here it is!

yay!